DEAR JAN,

Dear Jan, I've known you for so long and I can say that I know you so well. I told you so many times but i still want to tell it to you over and over again. I love you. Though at times you may feel that i don't care about you, but trust me on this one, I LOVE YOU more than words can ever explain and more than actions that can ever express. 11 years have passed and i can still feel the chills when you’re beside me. I shiver, I think that is the right word on how to explain it. I am grateful that you came into my life in time that I needed someone to love me. Every night I am thanking God for sending you to me. You're the angel that pulled me up from hell. Whether we live in a fairy tale or a non-fairy tale world, I still believe there is such a thing as " And they live happily ever after", and even if you don't believe it, let's make it happen. It is you that i want to see waiting for me in front of the altar. It is you that i want to exchange bands and in front of God saying our vows that we are promising that till death do us part. It is you that i wanted to see every morning when i wake up. It is you who will hold my hand in the delivery room and waiting for our baby to come. it is you that i will grow old with. I'll be your eyes when your eyes get blurry, I will describe everything you want to see.. The skies, birds, trees swaying..everything...I'll be your hands when you can't handle things anymore, I'll be your voice when you cannot speak up anymore. And I will let you remember everyday how much you love me and how much i love you when you can't remember anymore. Now that we're together I promise to be always true to you, to love you and trust you. I love you more than anything this life can offer me and i will hold your hand until my last heart beat. I love you. Love, DHANG

.ako ba o ikaw.

kakatapos lang ng sandamakmak ng meeting. pagod na pagod ang isip mo sa kakaisip ng mga bagay na related sa work. tapos pag uwi mo ang tanging inaasahan mo ay ang taong hahagod ng likod mo at sasabihin sayong, "ok ka lang ba?kamusta naman araw mo? anong gusto mo? napagod ka ba? gusto mo ng masahe?" o kaya simpleng "halika nga dito, hug kita! " hindi yung sa bawat araw pag uwi mo ang maririnig "anong oras na? naghintay na naman ako ng matagal!" ARGH! ako ba o ikaw ang may problema. ako ba o ikaw ang laging panalo. ako ba o ikaw ang tunayu na nagmamahal. kasi kung ikaw.. bakit hindi tayo magcompromise.bakit? wag mong sabihin na ikaw lang ang nagmamahal. wag mong sabihn na ikaw lang ang nagsasakripisyo. kasi ang lam ko. parehas tayo.

.slut.

kung may isang bagay akong pinagsisihan. eh yun yung pumapatol ako sa taong walang utak. yun yung mga taong walang ginawa na lang kung hindi maghinala at tawagin ako sa mga tawag na hindi naman dapat. "BITCH", "WHORE" at "SLUT". pag tinawag akong bitch ng mga tao. ok lang! eh sa ganun talaga ako. i'm a bitch, i'm a lover i'm a child i'm a mother i'm a sinner i'm a saint.. blah blah! pero pag sinabihan mo ko ng whore or ng slut paulit- ulit.. pakshit! parang di na yata tama! parang may hangganan naman ako. i have been very patient regarding this issue. and i hate na paulit ulit na lang. and i hate when some people are making a big fuzz on what i am doing.bwiset! "YES, I AM SLUT! BUT I AM THE BEST SLUT IN THE WORLD!"